Flowers Alongside National Highways

   The Bluebonnets are blooming as Spring time has brought the state flower of Texas out in force. The medium and shoulders of the nation's highways abound in the various colors of the rainbow as wild flowers explode...and it was all the vision of one woman.
   Lady Bird Johnson was the First Lady under the administration of her husband, Lyndon Baines Johnson in the mid 1960's.
   

   Claudia Alta Taylor was born in Karnack, Texas December 22, 1912 to an affluent family. A nurse on hand for the delivery is credited with giving her the nickname she would carry her entire life when she said, "she is as pretty as a Lady Bird."  Bird, as her friends would call her, married LBJ in 1934 and financed his congressional campaign with part of her inheritance. During World War II while Lyndon was away in the Navy, Lady Bird bought KTBC Radio in Austin, Texas to give listeners 'the Johnson prospective' on happenings in Washington, DC. From the profits of the station she also bought a TV station in Austin. The two broadcast outlets made millionaires of the Johnson's but Bird never gave up her love of flowers.

   LBJ became the Senate Majority Leader in the late 1950's and suffered a heart attack, but Lady Bird ran his office while he was recuperating and also kept his mail up to date. Johnson would become the Vice-President under the Kennedy Administration and assumed the Oval Office when JFK was assassinated November 22, 1963. As First Lady, Bird's primary goal was to bring beauty to America's highways. Texas led the way with Bluebonnets and Indian Paint Brushes flourishing the state's roadways. Bird had one comment she liked to use at public speaking outings, "where flowers bloom, so does hope."

Harley Davidson Nightrain

   As previous postings will attest, I am a longtime fan of Harley-Davidson motorcycles.. I have owned eight or nine of them in my life. I will admit to owning a few Honda's, Yamaha's, and Kawasaki's in my day, but since the mid 1990's I have been loyal to the Harley-Davidson brand.
   This posting is to showoff my Harley Nightrain.. It is a 1999 model that I purchased in the year 2000. It had been a show bike for the previous owner in Houston and had never been on the street. The wheels are the main focus of this bike and they are called Triad for the three spoke look. The previous owner bought them from American Wheel Company of Minnesota. 

   Note the grooved lines in each spoke on the wheels. The same design is on the brake rotors and main drive pulley.

     When I purchased the bike it had less than one hundred miles on it, so the 80 cubic inch engine was basically brand new. The previous owner was concerned only with the look of the bike and I had to do some work on it before committing it to street use. A set of Cobra turn-down shorties was leaking around the exhaust ports so I decided to get rid of them (they were also so loud they drowned out the voices in my head). I replaced them with a set of Harley-Davidson Screamin' Eagle pipes.

   Forsaking the blacked-out look of the Nightrain, I started using up some of the chrome left over from my custom FXST softail. I chromed the transmission cover, the cam cover, pushrods, regulator cover, and the oil tank. On a whim, I bought the hyper-charger but never felt any improvement in the performance of the bike. It did become a constant conversation piece as everyone wanted to know about it. I also sent the carburetor to the Dakota Kid in Sturgis for a complete rebuild. That really improved the performance.

   Naturally the pegs, control boxes, and grips were replaced with chrome ones, and I also installed a chrome mustache bar. I rode it about thirty miles with both feet up on the bar and when I exited the highway both feet were asleep. I had to rely on the hand brake to stop until I could get some feeling back in my feet. After that I would only put one foot at a time on the highway bar.

   The straight across handlebars of the Nightrain were the first to be replaced when I got home with the bike. I installed a set of eleven inch pullbacks at the same time as the chrome boxes and control switches. Now I don't have to ride 'hunched over' to reach the bars. I have always been a fan of Harley's skull series, so I have the skull on the gas caps, primary cover, cam cover, and the back of the sissy bar.

   The mirrors are from a Harley Duece...  If you look close you can see the back of my clock on the left hand control box. I love the 6-inch headlight of the softails...It has that old school look to it.

       I had a LaPera seat on the bike in the early years, but Momma kept complaining about having a sore butt after long rides. I have taken a seat from a Softail Custom and had it reupholstered with buttons and also Harley orange piping around the edges.

     The Nightrain had a bobbed rear fender on it for a while, but on rainy day rides I would come home with dirt and water slung up on the back of my denim jacket. I replaced the bobbed fender with a fender from a Harley FatBoy bike. The taillight is called Aurora and I bought it from J&P Cycles in Iowa.

   I have a Memphis Slim windshield that keeps the breeze and bugs out of my face. I love it since it takes all of fifteen seconds to install it, or remove it.

      Before I retired, I worked about thirty miles from my home and the small Harley bag on the back was just the thing for essentials such as a rain jacket, or my lunch box.

   
  In the final photos you can see my wife and I at a Harley-Davidson bike rally in Oklahoma.. In the bottom photo is my Nightrain being judged as "First Place" in the cruiser category. The old girl is still a looker as well as a great bike on the street. 
   Thanks for Looking !! 






 

Battleship Texas' Long Trip Home

    The Battleship Texas was America's first answer to the dreadnought class of warships...but she was a first in many ways. The Texas was the first warship with anti-aircraft guns...the first with a range-finder firing system for the main guns...the first ship to launch aircraft...and the first of what would become the 'New York Class' of battleships.
   The Texas was built in the Newport News Naval Yard and officially commissioned in 1912. The cost of the ship was five million dollars at the time, but this was a time when hamburgers were two cents. The Texas was 575 feet long and 95 feet wide, with a displacement of 34,000 tons. Two reciprocating steam engines allowed her to cruise at 21 knots (24mph). The outside bulkheads were ten inches thick and the decks were three inches thick. Armament included eight 14-inch main guns in four turrets, six 10-inch guns mounted midships, twenty-one 5-inch anti-aircraft guns, and twenty 50-caliber machine guns. The Texas also had four torpedo tubes, two in front (bow) and two in the rear (stern). This is the way she looked in 1918.

    During World War I...the Texas was sent to bolster the Grand Fleet of Great Britian and became part of the fleet at Scapa Flow, the home base of the Royal Fleet just off the coast of Scotland. The Texas was assigned convoy duty between England and the United States, but also was part of the blockade of the North Sea to keep
German ships from getting into the open waters of the Atlantic. 
  In 1926 and 1927 the Texas was back at the Norfolk Navy Yard for updates on her equipment and to be fitted with better radio communications gear. Here is a photo of the Texas coming through the Panama Canal in 1937.

   On December 7, 1941 the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and the United States was suddenly part of World War II.. The Battleship Texas won 5 battle stars for her actions in the conflict. In 1942 she was part of 'Operation Torch', the invasion of North Africa. A newsman by the name of Walter Cronkite made radio reports back to America from the Battleship Texas to begin his career. In 1943 and 1944 the Texas went back to escorting troop and freight ships between the U.S. and Great Britain. German U-boats took a heavy toll on ships crossing the Atlantic during this time. On June 6, 1944 the Allies committed to the invasion of Normandy, France to open a third front against the Germans. Over five thousand ships took part in the D-Day campaign, and the Texas was part of five warships  dedicated to support Omaha Beach. Firing from ten miles off-shore, the 14-inch guns blistered the German fortifications as the infantry forces headed inland. The Army Rangers were given the task of scaling the cliffs of Pointe de Hoc to eliminate some heavy artillery guns at the top. When the Texas saw the Rangers were being decimated, she closed to within three-thousand yards and cleared the Germans off the summit so the Rangers could complete their assignment. After Normandy, the Texas returned to Plymouth, England to re-arm before joining the Battleship Arkansas to engage the German forces holding out in the Port of Cherbourg, France. A five-hour bombardment by the two warships was followed by the surrender of 37-thousand German forces. During the engagement the Texas was struck by one round from the shore batteries and the pilot house of the ship was destroyed, killing one sailor and injuring eleven others. The Texas returned to New York for a month of repairs before reporting for duty in the Pacific Theater. Here is the Texas in 1944 off the Port of Cherbourg.

   That photo was taken from the Arkansas and you can see the plume from a German artillery battery trying to isolate on the two warships.
   In March 1945 the Texas joined the Pacific Fleet and was part of the bombardment of Iwo Jima before the Marines went ashore. On April 1st Army and Marine forces combined on the invasion of Okinawa, and many were aware of the big guns of the Texas firing over their heads as they headed for the island's beaches. The Texas circled the island firing salvos from almost point blank range despite the heaviest attack by Japanese Kamikaze planes in the entire war. The Texas survived and when the Japanese surrendered in August 1945 she was part of a shuttle service to return Americans home from the Pacific. The Texas made three trips from Oahu, Hawaii to San Pedro, California bringing troops back home. On June 18, 1946 the Texas was placed 'in reserve' at the shipyards in Baltimore, Maryland.
   April 30, 1948 the State of Texas paid $225,000 to tow the Texas from Baltimore to her present berth at the San Jacinto State Park, just east of Houston and the site of Sam Houston's victorious battle over Santa Anna's Mexican Army. When the Battleship Texas was officially presented to the state, she was commissioned as the Flagship of the Texas Navy. In 1983 the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department took over the responsibility and upkeep of the veteran warship. This is the Texas as she rests today.

   The Battleship Texas is the first and oldest of all U.S. Battleships to become a floating museum. She remains a symbol of the Great Generation of Americans who shouldered the task of defeating America's enemies.
   As you can probably tell, this story was written by a proud Texan who has visited the Texas on more than one occasion.  I am a veteran of Vietnam, and during my time of service in the 1960's I met people who still remembered the Texas from World War II. One old vet told me his helmet was almost sucked off his head by those 14-inch guns firing over their heads as they headed for the beaches of Iwo Jima. 
  When I was in grade school I can remember donating money for the upkeep of the Texas, so in essence, she belongs to the school children of Texas. A physical property we are proud to share with all..
The final photo is my wife posing below the 14-inch guns of the Battleship Texas.

  
   
   

Gabby Giffords Gun SNAFU

     Everyone is well aware of former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords and her brush with death last year while campaigning at a neighborhood in Arizona. Another lunatic with a gun shot several people at the political rally and some died. Giffords was shot in the head, but made a miraculous comeback as the entire country kept her in our thoughts and prayers. Her husband, Astronaut Mark Kelly, was the contact with the media and kept us updated on Gabby's improvement. She improved enough to be present for President Obama's State of the Union address. Since the shooting in Arizona the liberal media and Democrats have used the Congresswoman and her husband as examples of how bad guns are and the people that own them. Kelly even spoke to a Congressional Committee about banning assault weapons from the American people..
   So you can imagine how the Democratic left must have panicked when Arizona law enforcement officials released a 2010 photo of Giffords standing proudly beside a shot up target and holding an AR-15 assault rifle. The photo was quickly taken down from several websites before Giffords staff could come up with a story about it..

    Gifford's staff said Arizona law enforcement officials called her office to see if she wanted to shoot some new weapons the office had just received....BUT the law enforcement spokesman said it was her office that called them wanting permission for the Congresswoman to come to the range and shoot some guns while being photographed. Looking at the target, she does have a good grouping around the middle of the chest,...if indeed she was the one doing the shooting..
   When the above photo hit the internet and went viral Gifford's staff was inundated with calls for a response. They gave the above story about the photo and also sent out another.. The photo below was supposedly taken in Afghanistan while Giffords was visiting the troops. She is seen holding an AK-47 'assault rifle' while someone took the photo. 

    On March 13, 2013 Astronaut Mark Kelly was photographed at a Tucson, Arizona gun store where he purchased a Colt model 1911 45 caliber handgun..AND an AR-15 assault rifle with a large capacity magazine. 

    When this photo and information about the purchase was made public on Wednesday of this week, Kelly was asked about it and he replied he was making the purchases for the Tucson Police Department. If you believe that you are more gullible than most. The left-leaning media won't be reporting this story, and the liberal Democratic Party is trying their best to cover it up.. Assault rifles come under the jurisdiction of the Second Amendment. If you can afford one, then you should be able to buy one. My gripe is those that say the 2nd Amendment is for hunting rifles. The Founding Fathers were far sighted individuals and wanted a free America to remain free. They could see a future administration wanting to dominate the country, so they installed the amendment to make sure average Americans could rise up to overthrow any tyrannical government. The only reason the Japanese did not invade the West Coast after bombing Pearl Harbor was their fear of average Americans with guns behind every corner.
   The Democratic Left does not want you to have an AR-15... or a gas-guzzling SUV...but that does not apply to them. Remember Rosie O'Donald buying handguns for her bodyguards to have when escorting her children to school?  Have you heard about the five deaths from a gun battle in New York City last week, despite the gun-ban imposed by Mayor Michael Bloomburg....and Chicago led the nation in gun deaths last year with over 500 killed, despite having a ban on handguns in the Windy City.  
   March 26, 2013=  The Arizona gun store owner has rescinded the money to Astronaut Mark Kelly and cancelled the purchase. Kelly's recent public comments about donating the gun to law enforcement are in direct opposition to what he said on the paperwork at the time of purchase. On the paperwork Kelly had written 'personal use' for the reason behind buying the weapon. The gun store owner now plans to donate the AR-15 to the Arizona Tactical Squad, along with a one-thousand dollar donation. 

 

  But now.. the next time Kelly tries to purchase a firearm he will have to TRUTHFULLY answer one of the many questions.
Have you ever been refused when buying a weapon?  Yes    No 
  

Cowboy Collapse

  Never have I been so sorry about being correct.. As this blog will attest, back in August I predicted the Dallas Cowboys to finish the 2012 season no better than 8-8.. Friends and family alike thought I was off base in my prediction, but the team still has too many holes in both the offensive and defensive lines to be considered a serious playoff contender. Injuries are part of the game in football as everyone knows, but Dallas had timely injuries at key positions this season. One of the biggest came to linebacker Sean Lee. The third year player out of Penn State was just becoming the key to the defensive unit when he was lost for the remainder of the season midway through the schedule. Playing right beside Lee was linebacker Bruce Carter who also was lost for the last half of the year.  Defensive tackle Jay Ratliff also missed most of the season and the week to week injury report looked like a MASH unit in a war zone. Just some of the players to spend lengthy time on the mend were: defensive end Anthony Spencer, wide receiver Miles Austin, cornerback Orlando Scandrick, and center Phil Costa. A special note should be made of linebacker DeMarcos Ware. The All-Pro Ware should not have played, BUT consistently showed up for battle despite shoulder and elbow injuries that will require multiple surgeries during the off-season. Last year the Cowboys made major moves to improve at cornerback with the addition of Brandon Carr via free agency and Morris Claiborne through the college draft, but the safety spots looked to be open door as player after player tried to fill the position without a positive result.
  When you play quarterback for the most visible team in the National Football League, you either get too much credit, or too much blame. This now falls on the shoulders of Tony Romo. He became a free agent acquisition for Dallas while Bill Parcells was the coach. He was the best of a threesome made up of Quincy Carter and Vinnie Testaverde, and assumed the starting position only because the other two failed to do the job. Romo has now been with the team for eleven (11) years and has one (1) playoff win to his credit. Agreed, all the blame should not fall on the shoulders of Romo, but again, he is the QB on America's Team.
   The Senior Bowl has just been played, and that is where most of the NFL coaches have been to scout possible players for the college draft coming up this Spring. Dallas needs offensive lineman in the worst way. While an abundance of the last season's blame falls to Romo, it is hard to run plays when you are running for your life at the same time. Romo needs time to allow receivers to run their patterns BEFORE throwing the pass. Better talent on the offensive line will also open up the running game and allow Dallas to show off the abilities of DeMarcus Murray, a truly gifted runner, when he has an opening to run through.
  Finally we get around to the Coach. Jason Garrett will begin his third full season as Head Coach of the Cowboys. Owner Jerry Jones has allowed some of last season's blame to be placed on assistant coaches, and they have been shown the door out of Valley Ranch. Garrett has been calling the offensive plays for the Cowboys up to this point, but that has now been handed to offensive line coach Bill Callahan, who has never been a play caller. The 2013 season will be an interesting one for Cowboy fans. It will be crucial for Garrett's team to begin winning right off the bat. Jerry Jones has a history of being on a short fuse and if his team loses two or three early games to put them out of contention, look for heads to roll on the team.

  I'll give my 2013 prediction as we get a little closer to the season opener.

Pete Rose in Hall of Fame ??

   I have kept my thoughts to myself for many years now, but no longer.. This year the Baseball Hall of Fame has a couple of names up for induction into the Cooperstown Shrine. Bert Blyleven and Roberto Alomar...  Blyleven and Alomar??  Are you kidding me??
   I propose that the powers that be get their collective heads out of their asses and enshrine someone based on how they played the game of baseball. Honus Wagner was one of the biggest cheats in baseball during his time. Babe Ruth was a womanizing drunk,..BUT players similar to these are in the Hall of Fame. Why not allow one of the very best to die a happy man and place his name in consideration.   Did someone say why?
   Pete Rose played in the major leagues from 1963 through 1986, but despite a steller career between the lines, he was banned from baseball for gambling. Then Major League Commissioner Bart Giamatti said the actions of Rose was detrimental to the game of baseball. In defense of Rose, all that has ever been proven against him was he gambled on his team to win.. never on any other team.
   If indeed it takes 'better than average' statistics to gain entry into the Baseball Hall of Fame, I submit some verified numbers for consideration. Dating back to the 1800's there is one player holding down the position as record-holder in the following categories: 
All-Time Leader in base hits-    4,256
All-Time Leader in games played-  3,562
All-Time Leader in at-bats-  14,053
   That player is Pete Rose !
The Baseball Writers of America picked the top 100 players ever to play the game...  Pete Rose was among them.
The Sporting News named the 100 Greatest ever to play the game, and Pete Rose was #25.
  Rose played in 3 World Series... Won the Batting Title 3 times...twice was awarded a Gold Glove for the best defensive player at his position.. Was Rookie of the Year in 1963...was also named Most Valuable Player in 1973..and in 1975 was named 'Sportsman of the Year' by Sports Illustrated Magazine. 
   In a day when players dominate the sports pages with their off-field antics, I think Pete Rose has paid for his sins and deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Those of us old enough to remember, can recall how he ran to first base after being walked by the pitcher. He relished in the nickname of 'Charlie Hustle'. Most players consider being named to the mid-season All-Star game somewhat of an honor, and just show up to make an appearance. Pete Rose, who was named to the All-Star Game on 18 occasions at 5 different positions, played in the All-Star Game like it was game 7 of the World Series. Who can forget the 1970 All-Star Classic when Ray Fosse was blocking home plate and Rose, attempting to score from second base on a single to the outfield, bowled over Fosse and broke three of his ribs in the collision.

   This is the 21st Century!  If Cooperstown is indeed the reward for outstanding careers in Major League Baseball, then it is time to open the doors and allow one of the greatest to be admitted.  

Is It Guns...or the Shooter?

   It has been almost one week since the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School that took the lives of 20 kindergarten students and six of their teachers. Politicians and liberals across the country have come out with appeals for stricter gun control laws, despite the shootings having occurred in Connecticut, a state with some of the strongest gun restrictions in the country. In November over two million deer hunters took to the woods in search of Bambi, and guess what? Not one gun-related fatality was recorded. If Adam Lanza had beaten all of those children to death with a baseball bat, would we now be in a frenzy to close down the Louisville Slugger plant? The shootings have become all too familiar over the years, but removing guns from the equation, what else did they all have in common. Someone a little off-kilter was behind the shootings. Whether you call it mental retardation, A.D.H.D., Downs-Syndrome, or just slow, these people should NEVER come in contact with any kind of firearms.
  Case in point:
 

Thinking the Unthinkable

Michael holding a butterfly

In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.  

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.

“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.

The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork—“Were there any difficulties with....at what age did your child....were there any problems with...has your child ever experienced...does your child have....”  

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying—that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. (http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map). Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise—in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population. (http://www.hrw.org/news/2006/09/05/us-number-mentally-ill-prisons-quadrupled)

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill—Rikers Island, the LA County Jail, and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011 (http://www.npr.org/2011/09/04/140167676/nations-jails-struggle-with-mentally-ill-prisoners)

 No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all. 

This story was first published online by the Blue Review. Read more on current events at www.thebluereview.org

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